March 22, 2009

Our dad has had a front seat for March Madness this weekend. It started off with a delightful and welcome visit from Carmelo on Friday, who drove down to watch basketball with our dad Friday afternoon. Our dad was very excited to see Carmelo. He got up and seemed to eagerly await his arrival, as he hadn't seen either of his sons since Monday evening. Carmelo arrived with a few favorite treats from home, including our dad's beloved Stella Doro breakfast treats (a no-no, given his erratic post-surgery blood sugar). The two of them watched Marquette play, and our dad seemed a bit more himself. As soon as Carmelo arrived, our dad made efforts to ensure Carmelo was properly fed: "Gina, fix your brother a sandwich" (no comment on Gina's response to that :)). He seemed so happy to have the company. Gina said it made his day.

The visiting nurse and physical therapist also visited on Friday. The visiting nurse again checked our dad's incision and reported it looked very good. Later, the physical therapist consulted with our dad. She helped him with additional range-of-motion exercises to perform while seated, and also worked with him on stair climbing. The physical therapist encouraged and complimented our dad on his strength, which she felt was impressive. She recommended he (and we) work with him on endurance and confidence. Follow-up visits with our dad are scheduled for Monday, March 23. Overall, both Friday visits were quite positive and reassuring for our dad.

We are so pleased to see our dad becoming increasingly more independent. It is definitely a gradual, careful, and tepid process, but he is doing it and he is proud of himself in his ever-so-modest way. On Saturday, our dad began to complain of a "pinching" like pain around his incision, which necessitated additional pain meds; but by Sunday, our dad reported with some pride that he had skipped his (every 4 hours as needed) pain pills. He also privately expressed pride in the fact that he had used the stairs both Saturday and Sunday to shower. After he woke up on Sunday, he--to everyone's surprise--got out of bed on his own and moved to the kitchen for breakfast. Throughout the day, he got up without assistance to take his repeated walks around the first floor circuit of Gina's house on his own, without prompting. Additionally, since we were fortunate to have a beautiful, sunny, warm spring weekend, our dad spent some time outside both Saturday and Sunday.

During a quiet, private moment on Sunday, I mentioned to our dad that he seemed a bit restless. He did not seem at ease, no matter where he sat--outside wasn't satisfying, nor was his preferred chair indoors. I asked him whether he was okay and if I could do anything for him. He, really, looked contemplative. In response, he said he was a bit tired-that he may need to rest for an hour or so-but, yes, he was okay. I asked him how he had been sleeping, as he seemed to look very good and much improved from Tuesday. He said the pinching pain was interrupting his sleep, but he was managing okay. We looked at each other for a brief time and I again asked if everything was okay. He did not seem to want to share a lot, though I felt by looking into his eyes that anything he would say would mean a great deal. He, simply said, "this is hard." I felt my eyes begin to well-up instantly, but tried (not very successfully) to contain my emotion. I responded by telling him, again, that he is going through so much, but is getting better every day--visibly better, and that we are all here to help him both with the recovery and rehabilitation and with being here for him to share his feelings. He told me he did not want me to start crying, (which, thankfully, I did not) though I could see the (contained) tears in his own eyes. I told him we are all so proud of how much strength he has shown thus far, that we are taking one day at a time, that he is cancer-free today, and that we are all with him...all of us. I told him we just do not want him to give up on himself. He quickly responded that he has not, is not and does not intend to give up. We ended with an embrace, kisses, and more I love yous.

Soon after, our dad had a very restful pre-dinner nap. Carl then prepared a fabulous and enjoyed-by-all steak dinner. Our dad ate very well. He seemed to sincerely relish the family time, in his unspoken way. The babies, Gianna and Ava, have a keen affection for him, which is adorable and so endearing. He seems to know it too, but never draws attention to their special connections. After dinner, Tony, Carl, Kevin and our dad spent time chatting politics and watching the disappointing end to the Marquette game :(. Tony reminded our dad of his placement in their basketball "picks" and complimented him on his predictions thus far. Life, for a moment, again felt "normal."

This week, we hope, will be more promising for our dad. It surely will be different, as our mom will be back in Milwaukee at least through Friday. No doubt they will miss each other tremendously. He does seem to feel safe and content with Gina, which is really a special dynamic to witness. We continue our prayers for positive days ahead and hope each new day offers the promise of greater strength, endurance, and confidence for our forever faithful, quietly emotional dad.